My very own groundhog day

Recently I realised that X has happened to me since I was a little girl. X has happened to me recently, well sort of recently -I always have troubles with defining the timing of things. I'll try here to sketch my concern so I can move on to understand how i could break the cycle to avoid X from happening again in the future.

X happened when I was 5 years old, lasting until I was 8. It happened again when I was 15 years old. It more or less ended when I was 16. X happened again when I was 19 and it has continued until the present so to speak. But because I'm far away from the causes of X, in a physical manner, it kind of does not affect me, and does not feel so real. Then, X happened again when I was 31, and continues as well. While X is happening in two places where I exist, one is virtual and the other is physical. The virtual one (X1)is easier to handle because it feels far. However, the physical (X2) is here and now, and it feels real.

I don't find necessary to explain what X is all about, because I think that the point is to be clear that the main problem with X is that it is a paradox. And, as we know, there is only one solution to paradoxes. If you participate of them, one way or the other, you are trapped in it. Thus, the opposite has to be done.

Every time that X has happened I have acted similarly. So, I think that I should do something differently. But how could i work this out? Should I schematically look at the characteristics of X? Try to find loops in the history of the components of X? If this is down to Karma, I should try to understand the lesson that I ought to be learning. The most shocking thing for me is that it took me many years to realise that X was happening. I've had so many other things going on in my life, that I never gave enough attention to X. But now that it is barking at my face, I couldn't deny it's recurrence in my life. It is repeating in the same way over and over, and that is not right. I have to wake up one day to see that I've evolved.