Enter the last stretch of this bit of the walk

A year ago I realised that I wanted to walk the walk. I never thought I would want to have a child, and that was for many reasons that are pointless to express here. The important thing is that I changed my mind and, thankfully, things are heading towards meeting this child soon. However, before I reach the end of my pregnancy, or my body project as I've insisted on calling it, there are few things I need to finalise.

One of those things that need closing are related to work. It is interesting that at the beginning of the pregnancy I had so much work to do, way more that I've ever had. Stress was overwhelming in all possible extents, and now I have quite some commitments that commit me heavily with my career. Career is not a word that means much in my life, as for career a student has been my only successful pursuit. However, the fact is that I am compromised by work-related commitments that also sacrifice my personal time/space. This is, to be honest, the way I normally live. It is not news at all. The only thing that partially gets me is that once this is over, there is nothing else, just me and my free time to be prior to baby knocking on the door.

I have seldom be good at being. Only few times have I been successful without falling into my classic dark pit... And now, I have this conscious perception that my imminent 'free time to be' will be unique and finite. It will end once the baby feels like it's time to come to meet the world.

Hence, if I understand (as I elaborate above) that this weight of work that I have now will end soon to then provide me with the time to be. And, that such time to be is something precious, why am I feeling so confused/lost? Why do I complicate the present by wishing it would last longer? Is it my classic bottom-of-the-pit-reaching? Is it my usual drama that incomprehensibly misses the big picture just for no reason?

An Autumn Full of Rainbows

I don't know if people are normally what I, sometimes, call myself: I'm a mad Rainbow Chaser.

Either on the road, or while at home, when it is raining and the sunshine comes through, I search for a rainbow or rainbows. I'm greedy, always think that there can be more than one though, as it is the case on some occasions. Today, it was not the exception. It started to rain, proper rain, and then out of the nothing but thick grey clouds, the sunshine came through. I went to the other side of my house, and found a full rainbow, from side to side. Unfortunately, my bad-quality mobile phone pics do not make justice to what my eyes witnessed. However, these two pics sort of show a bit of the beauty that was out there.