LIFE

I have been so busy, that inspiration for writing has not even been present, zero. Finally, a brief break that opens up the opportunities for being.

I love being, just that, for the sake of it. In the contradiction of such being, I launched my self into a long journey of questioning: why are we here? is there a reason for being? Yes, I tortured (really did) my self and others around me with those questions for decades on. I've been told so many times to stop doing it, and just keep on going. That things are simpler than I want them to be.

It was until very recently, a couple of months ago, when I started to understand that at least for me, life has always shown its meaning, but i was so immersed into it that I couldn't see it. Because I love to be, I always do life on my own terms, without compromising with the social -keep it to the strict minimum, which annoys people-. I didn't understand that that has been it, all along. It came to me with the body situation, and with the massive workload that did not let me do the 'being' that I pursue. I did not have a chance to be, my self was hanging there like a winter coat during the summer.

Finally, since yesterday evening, I have been around me, and felt as if I haven't slept for a day. An exhaustion overwhelmed my senses, and last night I started to rest down. And today, the gorgeous sunshine and warmth in the air, with time to do so, I let myself go.

Is this core need in people like me something beyond the explanations that neurologists can provide? I can immediately think that probably under elements such as neural communication and who knows what else, some parts of the brain could gain relief by the things that I do. And thus, we could just interpret that in the subjective way I've written it here. However, I would still want to think that it goes beyond that bio-chemical process.