Thursday 18 December 2008

In Understanding Boredom and Emptiness

I've struggled for far too long in trying to understand the extent to which emotions are influenced and controlled by the chemistry of our brain and body. To what extent are emotions and feelings influenced by the soul and the mind. Which of these are entities on their own and which are creations of our thinking only. I suppose that I'll keep on with these questions for as long as I live.

Two notions I've been briefly discussing about recently is the possible difference, if such exists, between boredom and emptiness. The other day, my partner told me that he felt empty at work. He's said that before, but i could not understand what he meant by feeling empty. When he explained, as simple as the explanation was: feeling nothing about nothing, gaining nothing from nothing, and so on. I thought that such is the way I feel when I claim to be bored. Such as I feel now. But still, I'm bored because I don't think I am benefiting in any possible way from the work I'm doing today (working on an research report that only reflects a tiny bit of my work on it and none of my approach). Hey, but such is life. So, this is kind of lack of motivation as of this day. Thus, being motiveless causes me getting bored and anxious.

Yet, I've never called it 'feeling empty'. For me that sounds far stronger than being bored. However, it is still with the hope that it can only get full. Feeling empty means that there was something there before that has been drained. Can one be fully drained at once? I think that this happens gradually. I get bored gradually. Working on the same pointless thing makes me feel like I need a break to re-energize.

What do you do when you feel empty? How do you feel up the void? This questions give a different perspective to boredom and emptiness. I can help my self with doing other stuff that gives me the strength to bear the pointlessness of what I do. Yet, I could not imagine what can be done when there is nothing that can feel up the experience of being emptied, since this comes from the outside and the damage is far worse. This requires more drastic measures, like changing completely the environment that has caused the emptiness in one self. Whereas this is also a solution to boredom, being bored happens at any place and time. Feeling empty probably is experienced when a place and time are particularly draining and leave one in a limbo.

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